At What Age Can a Child Choose the Parent He Wants to Live With?

As an attorney, I am frequently asked by parents the age at which their child can elect where he or she wants to live.  There is a commonly held misconception that upon turning 12 years of age, a child gets to "choose".  However this is not accurate.  Nevada law provides the a judge may consider the wishes of a child only if the child is deemed to be of "sufficient age and maturity" to form an independent decision that is not influenced by either parent. 

The Court has a great deal of discretion is making this determination.  First whether a child is of "sufficient age and maturity" is very subjective and the criteria for evaluating a child's maturity level will vary from judge to judge.  Next, the child's wishes are only one of several factors the court must take into consideration.  Other factors will include the historical roles of the parent, each parents current availability to the child, the particular needs of the child, and the current circumstances of each party.  Additionally, the Court must always take into consideration the overall facts of the case.  The standards the Court uses to evaluate facts are different depending upon whether this is the first determination being made by the court, (such as an initial custody determination at the time of a divorce), or whether this is a subsequent decision made months or even years later. 

Finally I would suggest to parents that you do not want your child to have this decision making authority.  First this puts an inordinate amount of pressure on your child.  Whether your child is 7 or 17, they still look to you, as a parent, to protect them.  Why then would you want your child to assume the emotional burden of choosing between his or her parents.   Moreover as a practical matter -- do you really want to be in a "bidding" war with your former spouse over your child.  Leaving the decision to the child, divest you of authority as a parent.  If it is up to the child to choose, then each time you discipline your child, or set a boundary, you would be at risk of having your son or daughter "choose" to live elsewhere.  This sets up an impossible situation for a parent, and is not in the child's best interest.